I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
