where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
