He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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