i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize