I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
