He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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