Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Semen is not good for contacts.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
