she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
