I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
