but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
