I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
