In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
