who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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