do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
