A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
