after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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