Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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