Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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