Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I love you. Go after that dick
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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