Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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