My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
