I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
