Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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