Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
