I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
