Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
