dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
