It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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