Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
