D3 body, D1 cock
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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