I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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