Swine flu. Run for my life!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
