handjob tips. give me some.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
