whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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