i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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