wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
