Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
