Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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