Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Even my vagina gasped.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
