you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
