First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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