My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
