Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
