Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
