This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
