I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
