I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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