maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
this will be a night to untag.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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