I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
