If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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