I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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