Please, let me fuck your mom
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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