So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
