Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
