Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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