Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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