This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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