what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
high people should be assigned attendants
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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