can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
