tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
