I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
