i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
