I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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