please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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