they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
