That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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