have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
