those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
