He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
