You made me cry and you don't even care
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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