Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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