I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
