I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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