so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I intend to get homeless drunk
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
