sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
