as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
